all the stress makes me hate school and band.
i had joined band loving it at first
but as time went by the love for it just faded.
band has transformed from something which i really loved in the past to something i hate so much
is it because of sir's never-ending demands
is it because of my inability to adapt
i don't really know the answer
had been trying for a very long time to rekindle the spark for band
but i could only see futile attempts

anyway, went to zhiying's house today
it was actually an attempt to relieve myself of all the stress accumulating
i get headaches really easily nowadays and it sucks. yep.
at zhiying's hse, went online for a while and played final fantasy.
i tried loosening up, but i ended up becoming more stressed out
because i think i had already been late for 3 times and im gonna get detention.
with detention comes demerit points for band and with demerit points for band comes a drop in rank. with detention also comes a missed practice and i think im gonna miss out on a lot of stuff.
argh argh argh.
i always tell myself "loosen up, man. you can always have another extra practice on friday to make it up,
AND
you can earn back the point you lost."
well. i can never relax.
tt's why i am so prone to going nuts cos of STRESS.

had extra prac with jianhui and yuzuo yesterday.
yuzuo made some progress,
but i have a feeling deep inside that yuzuo will probably disappoint me in the next practice.
this feeling is inevitable, looking at the number of times he failed me.
im very scared to go for the next band prac.
well, i cross my fingers and hope that yuzuo wont disappoint me in the nxt band practice. yup.

i just want to have someone i can gush out my probs to.
i want to cry now.
ARGH, FUCK IT.
emotions running high. im not having mood swings now for heaven's sake.
it's STRESS. STRESS. STREESSSSSS. i've been feeling like that since thursday.
wtf. STRESS. i cant cope. help. yay.

maybe i'll feel happier someday...